Posted on by tacklingtbr

When I Was White: A Memoir by Sarah Valentine

St. Martin’s Press – Review: 3 Stars

Thanks so much to NetGalley, the author, and St. Martin’s Press for an advanced copy in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are entirely my own. { partner }

I knew that I was interested in this book early on before publication, because I love getting to learn about different perspectives and read about experiences that I wouldn’t necessarily have in my lifetime. This memoir definitely fit the bill in that respect. This was a really interesting read, although I will say that it isn’t exactly a fun or easy read. Like, I wouldn’t take it to the beach or anything, but I am glad that I got the chance to read it.

That being said, I don’t think that this will end up being my favorite read of the summer. There was a ton of really amazing detail throughout the entire book, about everything – but at times there was a bit more detail than I really needed about certain aspects of the author’s story and it made parts of the book seem a bit long. Things like knowing exactly what stop she used on the subway, and all of the stops that lead up to it, and the entire layout of the shops and city. While I know that where you grow up and where you go to college tend to have a great impact on a person’s story so I definitely don’t mind a bit of that type of background and detail, but it seemed to me that it took up a good chunk of the book and made it a bit of a slow read for me. It’s completely personal preference, but it just made the book drag a bit for me in some parts.

This story, and the author, are definitely at their best when they’re focused on the human interactions – specifically between the author and her mother, as well as the rest of her family. One of the best things about non-fiction, when written in a truthful and realistic tone, is that you get to see the flaws that everybody has. This author and her family are no exception, but her mom is especially fascinating, and the many conversations that take place between she and the author surrounding her true parentage (both before it is really revealed to her as well as after) are incredibly interesting. I loved getting to see behind the curtain a little bit and get a taste of what those difficult conversations would have looked like.

I will say that if you are a reader who prefers happy endings that are tied up in a bow, this may not do it for you. The author is a strong, independent woman who finds herself through the course of finding who she is, and through becoming in touch with the heritage that she wasn’t sure she shared. And in that fact alone, it is a happy ending. But know that there are still many questions that are left unanswered. For instance, despite all of her research and looking, by the end of the story the author has not met her biological father. But maybe along the way her strength showed her that maybe she didn’t need to after all.

This story gave me a very different look into white privilege, biracial identity, and other topics that I wouldn’t have had this insight into on my own. And I would recommend it to anyone else who would like to take a closer look at one of the many stories of identity and change and finding who we are, specifically a story that may be very different than ours. Just know that it may be a bit of a long read, so prepare yourself to wade through some lengthy bits of description. And I’m not kidding, probably not a beach read. Preferably read it while sitting by a fireplace with a blanket and a cup of tea or a glass of wine. Trust me, you’ll want to feel cozy!

Posted on by tacklingtbr

Honestly, We Meant Well by Grant Ginder

FlatIron Books – Review: 3 stars

Thanks so much to NetGalley, the author, and Flatiron Books for the early review copy in exchange for my honest review. All opinions in this review are entirely my own. { partner }

I finished this book a little while ago, and honestly had been waiting around to review it because I wasn’t quite sure what I was going to say. Did I like it? Love it even? Or was it just slightly missing something for me? And in all honesty, I’m still not quite sure. So here goes nothing.

It took me a long while to really get into this book when I started reading it. Not because I didn’t like it. Even in the beginning I was enjoying the characters (anyone who has read basically any of my reviews now knows that I am obsessed with character driven stories.) But for some reason that I can’t quite put my fingers on, the first half of the novel took me approximately a forever to get through.
I always enjoy when we get to hear a story from the perspectives of different characters, and when you get to see the situations a couple of different ways. However, this book is told from a total of five characters perspectives, which I think may have ended up being just a few too many voices for me. It made it kind of fun for the parts of the book where each character was off doing their own thing, and each chapter was sort of jumping you to a different part of the island, but for the parts of the book where they were all in the same spot and situation, it wasn’t my favorite. In those parts of the story we didn’t get to jump back in time a few minutes and see how the other character felt or saw what we had just read about, at least not most of the times, instead we stayed in the same moment and switched to another perspective right in the middle. Between this and how many characters there were in general, I just found that I almost didn’t have any long enough stretch of time with any one character to care about most of them or their situations. Also, just since this seems to be a previously unknown pet-peeve of mine, one of our key narrators isn’t introduced as such until halfway through the book. I get why she was an important narrator, and I did end up really enjoying her point of view, and I even get why she wasn’t needed in the first portion of the story. But I stand by it – I really don’t like when there is a new narrator introduced that late to the game. I know it happens, and sometimes can be done well. But these are my opinions, and it’s my review, so I’m sticking to it here.

Now here we get to the part of the review where I get to talk about the parts of the book that I really loved, because I promise you that there were a few. First and foremost, the setting of Greece, and how much the book dove into all of the gorgeous sites and history that come along with it. I wanted to immediately jump on a plane, explore some ancient ruins, have a glass of wine or three, and then jump immediately into some clear blue water! Doesn’t that sound perfect right now? But I digress.
I ended up, overall, enjoying the second half of the book better than the first. Whether this is because I was more invested in the characters by then and therefore the jumping around didn’t quite bug me as much, or if the story had gotten going enough that I was more invested and was more invested to see what happened next. And part of it was definitely how busy and crazy my life was while trying to read this during the first round, so definitely take this with a grain of salt. But compared to the first half, the second half completely flew by for me. The only thing that I would say about the ending is that, once I did get fully invested in the characters and their stories, I think I would have liked to get some more information about the choices that they made after “the end.” What I’m saying is, I could have used a Harry Potter style “10 years later” moment, you know? I’m all for a cliffhanger or open ending in case there’s a possibility of a sequel, or more information at a later date, but I’m not sure whether or not I would read a sequel for this particular tale, so I would have liked to get it tied up a little bit better at the end here.
And the last thing that I loved – there are some really beautiful relationships in this book. Not necessarily the romantic ones, but the friendships and the familial relationships that we see throughout the story. There isn’t too much to say about this part, but I just really loved a lot of them.

Overall, I would recommend this book to my friends. It is a really interesting look into the life of a woman and her family, when their lives are seemingly falling apart around them, but possibly falling together instead. This was a fairly fun read, set in a beautiful place, and had a good amount of interesting characters. While I think I’m ready for infidelity (slight spoiler? You learn early on, I’m going to let it pass) to not be one of the main conflicts in such a high percentage of books that I am reading, but there was enough else happening that it didn’t bug me too much. I would just give my friends that I am recommending it to a small heads up before reading it, in case they’re tired of reading about it too. But if it’s something that you don’t mind reading about, or it’s something that you can look past, I think that this is a great choice for a summer read! So pull up a glass of wine and maybe a lounge chair, and then you are all set.